Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a pineapple is not a proper home

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why couldn't the old man see? He was deaf

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you like them apples I dont like aplles

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whatt dont w do you call a person with legs that dont work Crippled

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, violets are blue, whoever met you is a BIG fool

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The adventures of Helen Keller:

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you tell a black man getting hit by a police baton? that is racial inequality, and you no longer have to take that due to Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was little Johnny sad? His parents were killed in an awful fire

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why can't jokes spit?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You know what makes no cents? 100 cents because 100 cents make a dollar.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yo mama's so white that she has to use lots of sunscreen to prevent from getting sunburned.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

for keeps?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A: A quadriplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you fit four gay men on a bar stool? You build an exceptionally large bar stool

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? a Jew is a person and a pizza is a food

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You come across a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. Why are you telling a joke? Go make sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do abortion and a coat hanger have in common? they both contain 4 vowels

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What was the joke about that woman with altsimers again? Ironically I forgot.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man was going to take his girlfriend to prom, and decided to pick up his suit from the dry cleaners. Unfortunately, there was a long line. He then went to pick up some flowers for his date, but there was a long flower line. Finally, he takes his date to prom and decides to get some punch for them.He returns with the refreshing beverage and the couple has a wonderful time.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The anti joke that repeats itself :(

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The morning of her 16th birthday, April's parents presented her with a young racehorse named Bolt. Bolt was energetic and strong the first two days, easily trotting around their 4 acre estate, but the following morning, when April went out to bring Bolt his breakfast, she found him leaning on his stable, head down, slowly rolling side to side. Upon seeing her newfound friend in distress, she promptly asked, "Are you okay Bolt? Why the long face?" Soon after, April realized that she had made a clever pun and grinned childishly. April's glory was short lived however, when Bolt suddenly collapsed due to an aortic aneurysm. Having spent most of their retirement on this racehorse, April's parents sold the ranch and moved into a retirement home, disgracing their daughter for not taking care of their steed. April, believing herself to be the culprit for Bolt's death, later committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops