Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other is a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What happened when Paul couldn't decide on Pornhub or Redtube. A: nothing since he doesn't have a d***

thumb_up thumb_down +16

i told my parents that i was having friends come over my dad said great my mom said great so i said great

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A Mexican walks into Taco Bell, because it is the only restaurant within walking distance of his workplace.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a bar. The man says,"ouch, how could I have not seen the bar."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

thumb_up thumb_down +16

eden stop

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did The Black man have for breakfast? Bran Flakes.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a black person who has fallen? an ambulance

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Adolf the Red-Nosed Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is Debbie short for? She has no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many babies does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +16

aa

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

a. johns friend said your a towel b. rick replied im obivously not a towel and walked away in discust at his friends stupidity.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the homosexual cross the road without looking both ways? He was blind......

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Yo momma's so ugly. Most people do not enjoy looking at her

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops