What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

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Why did stevie get stabbed in the jugular by his sister? He was telling bad anti jokes.

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What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

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Why did the man paint his dog blue? He has some strange mental condition and is incapable of controlling his own actions.

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Two pies where sitting in a oven when one of the pies says: God damn it's hot in here. The other pie screams out loud: HOLY SHIT A TALKING PIE!

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Why did the fish cross the road? Because the chicken was carrying an aquarium.

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Q: How do you get an elephant in a refrigerator in three easy steps? A: You open the refrigerator door, you put the elephant inside, you close the refrigerator door. Q": How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator in four easy steps? A": You open the refrigerator door, you take the elephant out, you put the giraffe inside, you close the refrigerator door.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa Claus is a fictional old man who flies around delivering gifts, while Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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A blind man walks into a bar. He cannot read the drink menu.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

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Why should children always be nice? Because the evil christmas demon KRAMPUS will rip their ears off, put them in a bag and beat them with a stick!

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A possesed goat: "moo"

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

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As a kid I was always told that school would get me good places. As an adult, I have found that there is another thing that gets you into a good place. Shrooms.

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A guy was beet by his wife.

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None we have mexicans for that

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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