You're American when you enter the the bathroom and you're American when you exit the bathroom. What are you while you're inside the bathroom? Using the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

shit is shit, even if you paint it purple; its still shit

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why does pavement get hot. Because it’s black. How could you tell she had bruises. Because they were black. Why did the boy drop out of school. Because he was dying of melanoma.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did the slave say to the slave owner i like your car

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the dog crying? Do dogs even cry?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q.-What's the difference between broccoli and a dead moose? A.-Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How old is your mom Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +13

it's funny because it's funny

thumb_up thumb_down +13

two hippo's were in the lake. The water was up to their eyes. What did one hippo say to the other? I don't know why but i keep thinking it's tuesday.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's long, hard, and black, and goes into wet things? A submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

ewrg

thumb_up thumb_down +11

When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the man say when he found out he had cancer? Nothing. He was so in shock, that he later died from another type of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what is green and smells bad? an orange dolphin that poops out rainbows.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats the difference between cats and dogs? ....cats suck

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why do dogs chase squirrels? Beacuse dogs have very low attention spands and also chase cars and cats.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats the difference between chris and a party. the locations

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the man fall on the floor? He had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the Catholic priest say after he fell off a cliff? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between 4 and 6? 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I was just entering the toilet in a transport cafe just as a lorry driver was coming out. "I wouldn't go in there mate if I was you" he said "Why does it smell?" I enquired "No I've just murdered a prostitute"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the redneck leave his wife? To marry his daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops