A quadriplegic walked into a bar, and... oh, whoops, nevermind.

What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

How many kids with Asperger's does it take to change a light bulb? Tyrannosaurus lived in the Cretaceous Period.

A bar walks into a man... Wait, that's impossible.

whats white and looks like paper paper

Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

When you give your homecoming date flowers, you're really handing them a bouquet of sex organs

What's the difference in a big brother and a wee brother? Ones big, ones small.

how does a chinese chick check if she's pregnant? swallows a rubix cube and if it comes out solved shes pregnant

You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

a blond walks in to a post... OUCH

What's the meaning of life? I don't know.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? ...Neither have they.

Q: Why was the boy sad? A: Because his mother just got raped.

Why did the black guy not tip his pizza driver? Because he didn't order pizza.

a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

Barack Obama is a good president.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading another damn "worm in your apple" joke.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a yacht. Unfortunately the yacht is in a shop and all 3 of them sustain injuries following impact with the concrete floor.

A young boy asks his father if there will be cake at the party. The father tells him there won't be and tells him to f*ck off.

Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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