What's the difference between an onion and a baby ? You cry when you cut the onion.

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Why was the little girl not allowed to see the pirate movie? It was sold out.

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Why are trees green? I have no idea

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This sentence is a lie.

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I don't have ADHD I just- Hey look a squirrel!

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They say "You are what you eat." In that case, I'm a pussy.

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A man walked into his house He saw his wife having an affair with his teenage Gardner

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Why was the mime crying? Her husband died.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What do you say when you see your tv floating at night? Drop it, nigga!!

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a man was hired for a job. he made a lot of money and was able to support his family.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy... but loose my number and keep the baby LOL

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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How's the weather? Good.

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A group of blondes rent a car and decide to drive to Disney World. Along the highway, they see a sign reading "Disney World left." They exit the highway, turn left, and enjoy their well-deserved vacation from practicing law.

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey..I forget the rest but your mother is a whore.

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Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

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What's green and fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it falls from a tree it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Dont follow this link.......http://www.google.com/imghp?hl=en&q=blue+waffle&tab=wi

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Why did the deer cross the road? The overpopulation of man has caused an expansion of construction into the habitat of the deer and it has required him to occasionally frequent human populated areas.

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A rabbit hops into a bar and sits on a stool, he then asks for a carrot, the barman didn't have a clue what he said because it was a rabbit so gives him a carrot to be generous. The bar door slams open and animal control put him in a cage and take him away. The moral of the story is that you should never let rabbits in your bar.

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what did the terrorist get for christmas? probably nothing because terrorists are steriotypically muslim, but i imagine if not it was a gift close to his heart

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Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

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Your mother is so fat, that she was instructed by her doctor to go on a low carbohydrate, high protein diet to reduce the risk of heart disease later in life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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