a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

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Barack Obama is a good president.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

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Why did the black guy not tip his pizza driver? Because he didn't order pizza.

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how does a chinese chick check if she's pregnant? swallows a rubix cube and if it comes out solved shes pregnant

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

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What's the meaning of life? I don't know.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading another damn "worm in your apple" joke.

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a blond walks in to a post... OUCH

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What's the difference in a big brother and a wee brother? Ones big, ones small.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? ...Neither have they.

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When you give your homecoming date flowers, you're really handing them a bouquet of sex organs

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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roses are red violets are blue i just made you remember two girls one cup

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What did the fat guy say after his weight-reduction surgery? I'm gonna sue the clown pants out of McDonalds

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Why does it take 7 years for Harry Potter to kill Voldemort? Voldemort is a very powerful wizard and Harry Potter is just learning magic at the beginning so he is not prepared to fight him.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Q:Whats worse than stubbing your toe? A: Watching a terrorist saw your dads arm off.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Whats brown and rhyme's with "Snoop?" Dr. Dre

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a yacht. Unfortunately the yacht is in a shop and all 3 of them sustain injuries following impact with the concrete floor.

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A young boy asks his father if there will be cake at the party. The father tells him there won't be and tells him to f*ck off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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