What did the boy with asthma say to his friend I can't breath

A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads: "A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings. Also called giant panda, panda bear." Seeing absolutely nothing in this description that would rationalize the homicides the panda had just committed, the bartender arrived at the reasonable conclusion that the panda was psychotic and having severe psychological problems which probably caused the incident. The bartender couldn't help but wonder if this tragedy could've been avoided had the panda been properly screened for schizophrenia and guns been properly secured in a safe at the panda's mother's house.

How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door.

Why did the child with one arm shave his head? He is a swimmer.

Knock-Knock Who's there? A giant spider-like insect that lays eggs in your brain which turn into larvae that drop down onto your tongue and eat your teeth slowly, then form a cocoon and turn into the spider-like insect spoken of previously. You then wake up from this terrible nightmare and get ready for your well paying job.

How do you make a boy cry? Kill his family

I ran out of anti-jokes. However, here's a cool math puzzle. 492 357 816 Using every number from 1-9, each row added up equals to 15, horizontally, vertically, and diagonally. Here's another cool word play TEA URN BAY Words horizontally are Tea, Urn, Bay Words vertically are Tub, Era, Any Words diagonally are Try, Bra

Knock knock. Who's there? Silence. Silence who? No, I meant there was silence, I didn't really say anything. Oh, OK. But seriously, who's there?

If a small quiz is a quizicle then what is a small test? A quiz.

What did the hispanic say to the black guy? I'm not sure. I wasn't listening because eavesdropping is rude.

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What did Mr. Pazdzioch and Mr. Hahn and Mr. Fishers big ass do for fun? Ate Mr. Kilgores shit at shin-go-beek jamboree.

Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because he recently found out that his parents died in a tragic car accident.

why do fat people eat so much? who cares

People, so yeah Nero7 is alive, but for the first time in history this site is crashing because too many are posting questions here, so I will try answering some for you, the name is Joker2 and I am one of the administrators at point zero. Nero7 is alive and, according to himself well, but physically he can barely walk and stutters in pain, and yes we are six million followers in total. Otherwise his condition is stable, and no, he is not dying in six years (because) that is also part of the coding you will need to access our site (it might have sounded a bit too dramatic in order for some of you to understand its part of the code) Do not post questions or comments regarding our activity on any other section, we do not want that kind of attention, so stop it or we will have to cut you off, Nero can and will answer questions, but please one at the time, its clogging this crappy server, besides Nero can only answer one person at the time as far as I am aware off.

Why did the blind man fail his math test? Because he had been raped and murdered. Going blind is a side effect of death.

Obama being reelected.

"Almost as accidental as your spelling I'm afraid." -...

There's a tray of muffins in the oven. One muffin says, "man it's hot in here!" Another muffin says, "holy shit! A talking muffin!"

What did the cake say to the icing? Come here

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can A hundred dead babies in a trash can Whats worse than a hundred dead babies in a trash can A live one at the bottom Whats worse than that It eats it way out Whats worse than that It brings friends

What is the worst thing about a couple of white kids playing with a couple of black kids? There are no parks or recreation centers within walking distance from there houses.

roses are red violets are blue pornhub is down ya mums facebook will do

Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I`ve got a car behind me. Don`t worry about that you have aids.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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