What's worse than finding a baby in a dumpster? Being late on your taxes

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i am 26 why was i kidnapped 13 years ago cause i was in a badly written play

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Why did the man lose the poker match in the jungle? He was playing a cheetah.

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You are so ugly that for Halloween you had to trick or treat by phone.

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What is a quicker way to transfer money than electronic banking? Keeping it on one's person and getting mugged for it, or else handing it over in a mutual deal.

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What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

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what is long on joe? Not his dick thats for sure.

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What's white and looks like paper? Paper.

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What do you call people in a plane crash? Whatever, i wasn't on the plane.

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What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

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Eating food: Ugh disgusting! Taking a dump later: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Man, you are doing it wrong... Waterworld was a pretty dry movie, I mean when are they gonna start making movies with a bit of wet humor for a change? SERIOUSLY BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY I AM NOT SERIOUS!

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs and died? Because he had a stroke and never got life alert!

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Why did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers? Peppers help strengthen his immune system.

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How do the Chinese name their children? They decide on a name that both parents can agree upon, and they write that on the certificate of birth.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -None, they will pay for somebody else to do it

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Why did the black man actually receive an education. Because he is entitled to one as a citizen of the US. Frederick Douglass, at the twenty-third anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation stated that "Education, the sheet anchor to a society where liberty and justice are secure, is a dangerous thing to society in the presence of injustices and oppressions...." Douglass knew that in order for black people in America to survive, they had to be educated because it was the one area that could make the weak person strong and the black person equal. By the time the modern day Civil Rights Movement started, its leaders already knew that education was knowledge, and that knowledge was power. In order for black people to gain their equality, they would have to have a solid foundation to stand on, and that foundation would be education.

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What do you call a man holding a bible? A man holding a bible. What do you call a woman holding a bible? A women holding a bible. What do you call a man and a women holding a bible? A man and a women holding a bible.

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how do you get a scouters power level to 9,000? power levels dont exist in real life therefore cannot reach 9,000

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What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a kangaroo? An irrelevant punchline.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They procede to bake at 325 degrees for thirty minutes.

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whats worse than a worm in your apple..? getting shot..

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A black man goes down to Alabama in the 1960s; He gets lynched.

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A young boy walks into a catholic church, he attends mass, and leaves.

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Why did the baby stop crying? I shot it with a 9mm pistol and put it in the microwave because it cried while I was watching Sienfeld.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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