Knock knock! Whos there? Me. Now open the door.

what does dana do in her free time? make love with jarrett

Roses are red, Violets are too. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing infliction.

Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

Did you know him? Why the anonymous tip?

Why was the Asian woman late for work? She was raped.

John Cena for president

What did the african child get for christmas? Abducted.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? It's socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

Q:whats big white and falls out of trees A:a refrigerator

So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

whats long and black? a baton

it smells like up dog in here. whats that?

How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

Q:Whats worse than stubbing your toe? A: Watching a terrorist saw your dads arm off.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because it is a horse and doesn't understand English. It gets confused about it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, upending a few tables along the way.

What did the boy say when be landed in the bottom of the well, nothing he was dead.

You know what sucks? A vacuum.

A psychotic man walks into a pharmacy He buys his weekly medication to control his condition.

Nero was my name thousands of years ago, but I believe that those With clearer sight, brighter minds, those you remaining WITHOUT the sense of Complete doom, oh children of the night, know far better, turn to my side, and sheep you shall be no more, together we shall be Whole once again, the sheperd of this New world! Thumb this up if you have seen the signs... Thumb this up if you have seen the sins... ...End up buried under the corpses of everything you knew if you have no vision in this New dawn of ages endlessly darknening, and pretend that the internet will be there, or that the horsehead network ever mattered to you for that matter... :You say insanity today, sunday 27th January 2016, you will be the one running, begging that Our world is but YOUR INSANITY, a nightmare, which only Death will awaken you from

There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other "dang, it's really hot in here." Realizing that muffins can not talk the other muffin wakes up to a very hungry man biting his face.

How do chinese families name their children I belive it would be child because chinese families are only allowed 1 child

What did the black guy say to the Jewish guy when it began to rain? It's raining.

What is holocaust victim's favorite food? Hamburgers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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