What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

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a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o, p, q, refrigerator.

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69

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Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

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That awkward moment when sentences don't end the way you octopus.

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how fast does it take to kill a blonde? Give me a gun and i will find out

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An irishman walks into a bar and stays there until he goes home.

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Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

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why didn't the bully beat up the nerds? His mom got arrested for molestation and his dad got sent to Afganistan so he was too depressed to beat them up.

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What did one dolphin say to the other after watching a banana dance with an afro. My pancreas was replaced with a mango.

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What do Michael Jackson and a throbbing, greasy, overcooked Shitake Mushroom have in common? Nothing. Just nothing at all.

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Why does Beyonc'e sing ''to the left to the left''? Because black women have no rights.

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70% of heroin addicts die at some point in their life.

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Whats green and smells like bacon................. Green bacon

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60+8.99999999=68.99999999 soo close

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I man sees a shooting star and makes a wish. Nothing happens as shooting stars are incapable of granting wishes.

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Where would you find a dog with one leg? Possibly in a vet's surgery, or in an animal rescue home or being cared for by a loving owner.

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Women. One of the genders a human can be.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

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Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

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An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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one time, a fancy business man walked into a bar. but then he figured out that he wasnt supposed to be there. so he politely apologized to the mortician an and he granted him permission to exit the closet.

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What happens if you don't use a condom? The person you are sleeping with may get pregnant or contract some kind of STI or STD. In worse cases you or your partner may contract HIV or possibly AID's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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