If Timmy has 2 apples and Sarah has 7 apples, what is the square root of the distance of Mars and Jupiter divided by the speed of light if X equals the value of negative infinity given the equation X(2) - E=MC/7?

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What's black and white and in the desert? Tourists being held hostage by a tribe.

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What do you call a muslim with a gun I dont know his name

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A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

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Have you seen the blind man's new house? No. Neither has he.

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BEST PLACE IN THE WORLD COPENHAGEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What did Jim do after the police gave him a ticket? He followed them home and used their children's limbs to rape them.

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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This person shaved their head to gain attention. A klansman.

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What do you call an African-American, Latino, Asian, and Canadian all on the same football team? A reasonably diverse group of teammates who are most likely good acquaintances.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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What's round and bounces A basketball No!!!!!!! You dummy!!! Then what? Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What did the kI'd with cancer get for Christmas? A coffin.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

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Racial Equality

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boy and girl are flipping a coin, coin lands on heads, boy: get down bitch

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How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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Three baby seals walk into a club...

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I'm not racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

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Q-whats worse than getting shot. A-getting shot twice

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A man walks into a bar an orders a few pints. He then goes home and brutally rapes his wife and chains his staring kids to a fencepost in the backyard along with their deceased dog named Spot.

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Justin Bieber

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ew. I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth! ...that's what she said!

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Oh, no! There is a ginger jew within 2 meters of me!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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