What is worse than finding your parents dead? You being charged for the crime.

A white man walks into a bar. He stabs 4 people and 1 escapes with extremem blood hemorages. his fanily later finds him bleeding on their family car. They take him to the hospital where he is put on life support. Later that night they are told there is nothing the doctors can do and the man slips away in his sleep. Who is to blame? The black guy in prison.

A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

What did the boy say when be landed in the bottom of the well, nothing he was dead.

Whats more annoying than listening to another arrow in the knee joke? bink2w32.dll is missing from your computer.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Actually, violets are violet

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

What do you not want to call a african american that begins with an N and ends with an R? A Neighbor!

What did red say to yellow? Move over orange is coming now.

Why does it take 7 years for Harry Potter to kill Voldemort? Voldemort is a very powerful wizard and Harry Potter is just learning magic at the beginning so he is not prepared to fight him.

Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

why did the geman man hit the jewish man? because the jewish man swung a punch at the german man so it was an act of self defense.

what does dana do in her free time? make love with jarrett

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...................... Wats so funny?

what's the difference between a crocodile?

How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17

How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Q) A black man and a white man are playing a basketball game, who will win? A) The one who scores the most points.

Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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