What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's worse than stepping on a piece of gum? A clown following you around all day throwing toothbrushes at you. ___ Zertop™

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you make a retard make a sound like a dog? Douse him in gasoline and light him on fire. WOOF!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why didnt the vampire have a reflection? You have to be real to have a reflexion

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: What's so special about my Ferrari? A: It was painted with babies

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

You may notice something very odd about this paragraph. There is something strange although you can't figure it out. It is boggling your mind and keeping it from thinking of the real purpose of this paragraph. It is like an enigma in an enigma in an enigma in an enigma. Stop thinking hard and think inside Da Box. I just wasted your valuable time although it's not really valuable if your looking at this website.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why did the koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats worst than reading the 8th anti joke that ends with the Holocaust? The one where it ends with someone getting hit by a fridge for the 9th time.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the retard say to the other retard.. hey timmy how was work?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Scientists have discovered that the state of your hunger can affect what you say. For example, whether you choose to say ‘I’m hungry,’ or, ‘I’m not hungry,’ is based upon how hungry you are.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

whdid the cop say to the robber as he ran out of the bakery? I caught you bread handed

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the boy run a marathon? because one of his good friends had just earlier passed away from pancreatic cancer and he decided to honor his memory by raising money through a 5k run. His family, friends and acquantances were all very proud of him and decided to hold the charity every year.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops