What does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? Ow

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A Russian drinking something other than vodka.

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? I take my cleats off when I jump on the trampoline

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A blond Canadian and his Korean friend are going together to Korea. When checking in the person asks the Canadian if he has a return ticket leaving the country. He replies yes but he does not have it on him. According to Korean Customs and Immigration laws a non-Korean citizen must have a return ticket to enter the country. Inevitably follows a long and tedious process in order to procure the ticket in order to pass customs. The Korean and the Canadian continue to their boarding gate.

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What happens when you throw a midget off of a tall building? It dies and the people below get midget on them

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

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“Ok, time for bed” … is what I said to the empty living-room. It was getting late, and the internet no longer amused me. I picked up my cell phone, rooted through the couch cushions until I located the remote, and turned off the television that had been nothing but background noise for the last few hours. I made sure the front and back doors were securely locked, walked around the back of the couch, and turned off the only light. A tap on the screen of my phone created just enough light to keep from busting a toe on an errant table leg. Because my cats have an evil tendency to lie in the middle of the hallway, I aimed the small amount of light from my phone directly in front of my tired and shuffling feet. I’d only covered a small distance before I knew, from many nights of this same regimen, that I was getting close to the bedroom door. At this point my arm started the slow upward arc that would eventually illuminate the now pitch-black opening to the comfort of my room. The light emanating from my cell was quite dim, and this action had become quite rote, so my arc was about waist level before I noticed a slight variation of the familiar black of the open doorway. At that point, and in a disturbingly short amount of time, five things happened nearly simultaneously: My arm, the arm carrying the phone, continued to rise in its predetermined arc, having been an object in motion which would stay in motion. I released a small gasp and exclaimed to my husband that his sudden appearance in the dark had startled the breath from me. I remembered that my husband was at work. The light arc reached its apex on a face of protruding nail-like teeth. A face suspiciously bereft of eyes, with a gaping, oozing, bloody pit where a nose should have been. The light went out.

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Why did the little girl drop her ball? Because she was done playing with it.

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Hi. P.S: You have aids. P.P.S: Purple penis pumpernickel pie puppets.

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A blackman and an asian are walking down the street they pass eachother exchange looks and continue on with their day

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Why do dogs chase squirrels? Beacuse dogs have very low attention spands and also chase cars and cats.

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Whats the difference between cats and dogs? ....cats suck

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How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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An Asian tries to climb a staircase in a wheelchair. He finds this difficult, because he is in a wheelchair.

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Three blonds walk into a bar ... They said ouch!

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how did the girl die? she read all of your terrible anti-jokes.

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Why wasn't Steve paying attention in class? Because he was dead.

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Why did the turkey cross the road? His friend, the chicken, had just been hit by a passing car.

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How do spell____? awk moment when u try asking someone how to spell something over text but they have no idea what ur saying

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I was just entering the toilet in a transport cafe just as a lorry driver was coming out. "I wouldn't go in there mate if I was you" he said "Why does it smell?" I enquired "No I've just murdered a prostitute"

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

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Why did the girl gO shopping?! Because she got paid and wanted to blow(;

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KONY 2012

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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