A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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Q. Why couldn't Billy see the pirate movie? A. Because his mom didn't let him.

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What did the Chinese man say to the Japanese man Nothing as they have never met

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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A homeless man gets a computer. Later that day he is found dead inside the computer.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

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What do you do when life gives you Oranges? You make lemonade and life wonders how you did it

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What do you say when you see your tv floating at night? Drop it, nigga!!

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Why did the two children go sledding? Because they liked to sled.

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Q: What's purple and eats desks. A: My dog.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Knock Knock. Who's There. Teenage Pregnancy

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why was the blonde confused? because she was born with a low IQ making her mentally retarded.

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Knock knock. With the invention of doorbells, knocking has become almost obsolete.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

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Why is it when birds fly in a "V" shape one side is longer? There's more birds on that side.

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autsim

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why navy seals ? they shot osoma bin laden in the face...... multiple times

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How do you eat a candy cane? Shove it in your mouth and chew.

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Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Kncok Whose there? Not Sally

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have AIDS".

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Why do sea guls fly over the sea? In order to get from place to place, flying is much faster than walking. Sea guls live on a diet of salt-water fish, and the ocean is where their main food supply subsides.

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i like having monkeys lick peanut butter off my nipples

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The once was a little girl named Suzy who liked swings; the only trouble was that she had no arms. In order to avoid having any jokes written (and recycled thousands of times) about this fact, she decided to run a sponsored marathon in order to pay for prosthetic arms. Suzy swung happily for the rest of her days. [L]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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