Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What did batman say to robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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what did the alcholic get his children for christman, nothing i lied about the children. Another joke by rangler thumbs up for more.

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Q:what do you do when a black guy is drowning A:you dont

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

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Q: Knock, Knock A: To get to the other side.

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What is 100(1+1) -100 + 50 x2 - 300? 0. But who cares? The answer is as worthless as you.

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Roses are red. They also have thorns. Their family is Rosaceae and they are often given as gifts between lovers. They grow in well drained and fertile soils...

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What do you call a man with no legs or arms trying to ski? Impossible.

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Q: What did the pedestrian say to the bus driver that hit him? A: Nothing, he died.

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A drum and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Dyslexics are teople poo

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What did the black man say to the white man? "I like your shirt" The black man walked off and lived out the rest of his days in peace.

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YO MAMMA SO SKINNY SHE HULA-HOOP THIER A CHEERIO

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor and the doctor said "There is no cure for the monkeys in your head"

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting black lady. wha....... ehmmm hmmmm!

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Your mom is so stupid, she stole free samples.

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Why did the black man kill his girlfriend? Because it was his mom!

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What is the difference between Joe Paterno and Coach Sundusky? Nothing. They are both terrible human beings and should thoroughly punished for their actions/inactions and should serve time in prison.

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Someone clearly messed up on naming the flower. Violet is synonymous with purple, Which is obviously NOT blue; It's the mixture between blue and red.

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What do you get when two chickens cross a road? -Salmonella stricken hobos

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? His father never taught him how to ride one as he was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned Johnny's mother when Johnny was 3, so he is not very good at riding bikes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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