your mums so fat! "last time i heard that i fell of my dinosaur!!" Oh man are you ok?

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What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

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What do you get when you cross a muffin with chocolate chips? A chocolate chip muffin.

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What do you call Batman and Robin after they are run over by a steam roller? Dead

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Why did Susie fall out the swing, Because I hate disabled people and i pushed her

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"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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What brown and sticky? A sticky turd

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How do you get Vladamir Putin to smile? You tickle him.

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Q: What did the blind boy get for his birthday? A: He doesn't know

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Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

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Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

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A man walks into a bar. He was the barman. [L]

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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pull my finger (farts)

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your son has been in a car accident and has died.

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

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What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide-and-seek champion.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? What are you doing here?

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a man walked in to a bar and said 'outch'

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When life gives you lemons. Don't take things from strangers

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What's the difference between a dead black man in the road, and a dead dog in the road? One is a human being that probably leaves behind family and friends that will miss his absence. The other is an animal that will also be missed, but to a lesser degree since dogs don't form a bond with people other than the family it shared its life with. In either of the two cases, if I witnessed the accident that caused the death, I would promptly notify the authorities so as to make sure that the driver of the vehicle that hit them would be subjected to a breathalyzer test.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops