You have 37 candy bars and you give your friend 12. What is the square route of the sun? Yes

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Is your daddy a thief? Because he stole my wallet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can't fly, what choice did it have? All it wanted to do was to get to the other side. That chicken knew what it wanted to do in life. What do you want to do with your life? Be chicken smart. Cross the road.

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How many dead babies can fit in the trunk of my car? Seven.

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So a blonde walks into a wall...

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What is similar between a horse and a zebra? - If you chopped of there heads, they would die.

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How did the man with no legs get around? He was assisted by a nurse or relative who was kind enough to take on such a task.

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Why did the Japanese man fall down the stairs? He was blind and deaf and not aware of his surroundings to prevent himself from doing so.

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What's funnier than a joke book? 2 joke books.

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How did Jimmy know that his neighbor was a serial killer? He didn't... Jimmy's dead now

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If I were a cat, would you help with the toast?

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Knock Knock Who's there? The FBI. We need to check your house for dead bodies.

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How do you make a dog say meow? Freeze it and put it through a woodchipper. (MEROWRRRR)

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Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? It needed excitement in its otherwise mundane lifestyle.

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What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

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Why was the Black Boy shot? It was because he was walking alone at night in a dangerous neighborhood, where there are many gangs. People should know not to go alone at night in dangerous places, or even in the day.

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Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

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There is a 5 second long and extremely depressing video, most cant watch it for any longer than 6 seconds

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My friends a Jehovahs Witness. He got all pissed at me because he tried to tell me a knock knock joke and I ignored him.......i totally stole this joke lol.

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Dont follow this link.......http://www.google.com/imghp?hl=en&q=blue+waffle&tab=wi

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A blond Canadian and his Korean friend are going together to Korea. When checking in the person asks the Canadian if he has a return ticket leaving the country. He replies yes but he does not have it on him. According to Korean Customs and Immigration laws a non-Korean citizen must have a return ticket to enter the country. Inevitably follows a long and tedious process in order to procure the ticket in order to pass customs. The Korean and the Canadian continue to their boarding gate.

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Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks. After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her." After finishing his scotch, the lawyer said, "Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then at least she would have enjoyed the trip, and she would have known that I loved her." The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go f*** herself."

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What do 2 arabs say to each other in a super-market? For those of you who don't know your history, the true Lebanese are Phonecians. As such, they are not Ishmaelites/Arabs. They are from the house of Jaffeth. the youngest of Noah's sons. Arabs are from the house of Shem (i.e., Shemites/Semites), the oldest of Noah's sons, and Hamm, Noah's middle son who fathered Cannah with his mother. Haggar, the woman with whom Abraham fathered Ishmael, was a Cannonite. As such, Ishmael, the father of the Arabs, is half Semetic and half Hammetic. The true Lebanese are neither. Furthermore, the first non-Jewish Christian church was established with the Gentiles (the children of Jaffeth) in Lebanon. And then the shop blew up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops