What did the White guy say to the balck guy? "How are you?"

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What do you call a cow with no legs. Dead, the farmer cut them off.

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What does the Priest say to the little boy? Size doesnt matter

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Women age like a fine wine: sediment develops as they lose their tannins, and earthy notes of oak and mineral develop in their flavor profile, giving them a lengthened finish.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing

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"You can't get past" "I'll get future" dad cri mom cri boy bang girl girl cri women's rites sholdnt exist.

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What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

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Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

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What do you do when a taco eater gives you guacamole? Thank him, and politely smash it in the face of the nearest trashy tourist.

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Due to the wildlife conservation program prevalent in the neighborhood, the chicken was able to cross the road safely.

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What do dogs and whales have in common? They both live in the ocean. Apart from the dog.

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Your mother is so stupid she couldn't get a passing score on a standardized test.

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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a read head, a brunet, and a blonde sneak into a merchant ship. security hears some noises and goes on to investigate. all three girls jump into banana sacks. security guard kicks the first sack with the read head in it and she growls like a dog, so the security sees its a dog and keeps on walking. he then kicks the sack with the brunet in it, she goes on to hiss like a cat. so then the security guard kicks the last sack with the blonde in it, and she yells out "bananas!"...the end

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here's a chuck norris fact: Chuck Norris is 5'10 and lost to bruce lee!

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Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road? Because they are extinct and roads did not exist when they were alive.

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knock knock who's there? the chicken i just crossed the road to offer you this token of appreciation for helping me screw in a lightbulb

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fuck you you punkass piece of shit I hope you burn in my uncle's titties and ass rape yourself while screaming "make it stop!'. Then, I hope that you take a titanic needle and shove it up your lower kidney until it tears open and all your bodily fluids spill out into an ocean of shit. Also, I have 73 balls with a ballsack for each ball. So, I have 73 ballsacks.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners unfamiliar with the Latin alphabet.

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A black man walks into KFC. the whole room..THE GAME.

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A Lion walked into bar. He ordered a steak Because lions love meat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops