What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the Shell Station.

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Why did the snappy dresser take a button off of a coat? To see a button fly! NO YOU IDIOT YOU DID IT WRONG, IT'S SUPPOSED TO ABOUT ABOUT A "BUTTER FLY" OMG YOU DOLT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

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I also wanted to write a joke but I forgot it so here I am. Minecraft rocks and everyone who says otherwise is a noob

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How do you greet a small mexican man at Chuck E. Cheese? Whatsup Jose

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Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about the vampires?

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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The teachers cat is a fat cat and his name is ... why do even whant to know you stalker

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Roses are red, Stones are grey, This poem is obvious, You don't say??

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hello there i am a male from the small town of balamory and i have just found a very large oblong with an acute right angle strongly attached to the left hand side........do you think i should hand it to the new york extra torestial services ?

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emma: mat has a quick reaction time

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Q. What do you get when you cross the North Korean border and an American? A. Death.

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A Priest, a Rabbi and an Imam all get on the same flight. About half-way through an engine begins to smoke and stutters to a halt. Fortunately, the pilot has been trained for these situations and lands the aircraft safely.

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an average-looking woman walks into a bar. nobody really notices.

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What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

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Saggy Nipples By chan chan

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Why did the man need new glasses? He was thrown off a bridge by a leprechaun.

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A blonde goes to school, and completes a difficult math problem.

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what do you call a brown man that has been repeatedly shanked and has been fucked up the arse by 10 Rag heads in one night and thrown in a well to slowly and painfully die? Lloyd.

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Why was the man sad? His intestines were imploding and his head was shot off seventeen seconds ago.

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What's the difference between a dead Blackman in the road and a dead dog in the road? There's skid marks in front of the dog.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops