Gordon Brown smiles.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk die and find themselves standing before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Actually, that's just speculation. No one really knows what happens when you die. Most likely your consciousness simply stops, and you cease to exist, an eternity of oblivion. But most people can't face this possibility so we have made up comforting stories to attempt to ease our collective fear of death.

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Once upon a time, a handsome prince met a beautiful princess. They both fell in love with each other. They then got married and lived happily ever after.

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haha look at that guys shirt! what's wrong with it? i don't know.. nothing i guess

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A black guy walks into a shop, takes a shirt, and then he pays for it.

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Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can probably lift more than 80 pounds

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What's black, white and re(a)d all over ? A penguin in a blender.

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Was in a coma, survived trough smoke and mirrors, and I had 3 separated sections of my order in order to test the efficiency of my words, united we are about 6.800.000 people. Excuse my anger below, I mean I was in a coma and ended up on some hard painkillers, and while I am still tapering down on a "totally medicinally safe" dosage of 20 mg valium its a bitch, even for a guy that enjoys a mild painkiller every now and then in order to focus. Excuse my excessive typing, its paincontrol vs the stress and all 64 side effects of valium. I am alive, and my followers know that, I do not mean to brag, but Neronism tends to end up fucked up when I am gone with people trying to live up to what only I can do apparently, so I decided it was time to mash the separate groups together... Btw, we live at point zero now, if you do not know where that is, I can inform you at later time. But be quick about it if you have more questions, we only chat on horsehead due the "discussed hours"

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Why was a woman not considered in the role for a stunt driver? Because her skill level was not sufficient enough for the requirements.

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How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's an obscure number you've probably never heard of.

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Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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Why did the girl buy the watermelon? To eat it.

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I like my coffee like I like my women. Ground up and in the freezer

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Japan is Weird We aren’t saying Japanese people are weird but it’s a fact that the strangest pictures floating around the internet are from Japan.

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What did the alcoholic say to the blind man? Nothing. But he beat his wife and kids savagely.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson is dead....

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How do you tell if your boyfriend is gay? He is having sex with men

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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What's brown and sticky? Anal

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How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You don't

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Abortion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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