What do boats and starving children have in common? They both float, except for the starving children.

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A man and a women are having sex. He farted so she left before he came.

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what is the difference between a car salesman and a lawyer? a car salesman sells cars to people while a lawyer is an expert in law.

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Q:What's brown and tastes like shit? A:Shit

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My name is Jeff

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

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knock knock whos there your mother open the door

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Whats worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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Where's Stevin Hawkins? He went for a walk.

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knock knock. no one answered so the man at the door went home.

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one morning i turned on my tv

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Man: Knock knock Man 2: who's there Alzheimer's patient: to get to the other side!

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What's slower than mollasses? Your fattass mother!

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You know what happens when you assume right? Well, you make an educated guess based on prior knowledge to the circumstance at hand.

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What do you have when you take the gun, badge and uniform away from a cop? A man in his underwear.

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what's worse than getting beaten by police? Getting beaten by Russian police

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How many Mexicans can you fit in a Smart car? None. It's too damn small!

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Knock knock Who's there? Benjamin Benjamin who? Benjamin Dover Ben! I'm so glad you're home the kids have missed you so much!

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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a blind man walks into a wall

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What did the gay guy say to the other gay guy Want to make out?

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Why isn't Pluto a planet? Because it mutilated my dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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