Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

what do u call a lesbian with long hair? a long haired lesbian.

How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

-Knock knock -Use the doorbell -Oh... ding dong -Who is it? -Me -Oh -Yeah -Cool -Come in -Okay -Take off your shoes -Alright -How are you? -Good -That's good -Yeah -Okay -K -Oh -Bye -See ya

How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

Why did John break down in tears? Because he was molested as a child.

I like touching my boobs

A man walks into a bar, he says ouch.

Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

Why did the little girl go to the hospital?........................Beacuse she fell when trying to steal cookies out of the cookie jar on top of the fridge.

What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, he'd be really really old.

How come Dorothy couldn't feel her legs? The metal cable snapped.

Roses are red Violets are red My lawn is red My fences are red It appears my garden is on fire.

Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

what do you call a kid with no arms and legs under a bus an ambulance, he's obviously in pain

What did the brown guy say to the black person when he got fired? Nothing, did you think this was going to be racist or something?!

What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo. Moral: Cuckoo!

Yo mamma's so stupid, she couldn't get a high paying job and had to settle for working full time at McDonalds, just to get your family through the week.

What do you call a women with 2 black eyes? Hopefully nothing because abuse is something that shouldn't be messed with and it is wrong.

Why did the boy yawn? Because he was tired.

What did the three sixteen year old boys do to the homeless man late at night? Wished him a happy birthday and gave him a meal

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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