Two hippies walk into a bar. They are both asked to leave because they are in violation of the 'no shoes, no service' policy.

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A man had come into a bar. No wait, it was a horse. A man had come into a horse.

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Obama says: I can throw one 1,000 dollar bill out the window and make one person really happy Michelle says: I can throw ten 100 dollar bills out the window and make ten people really happy The Co-Pilot says: I can throw you both out the window and make 250,000,000 people really happy tee-hee

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What do 2 arabs say to each other in a super-market? For those of you who don't know your history, the true Lebanese are Phonecians. As such, they are not Ishmaelites/Arabs. They are from the house of Jaffeth. the youngest of Noah's sons. Arabs are from the house of Shem (i.e., Shemites/Semites), the oldest of Noah's sons, and Hamm, Noah's middle son who fathered Cannah with his mother. Haggar, the woman with whom Abraham fathered Ishmael, was a Cannonite. As such, Ishmael, the father of the Arabs, is half Semetic and half Hammetic. The true Lebanese are neither. Furthermore, the first non-Jewish Christian church was established with the Gentiles (the children of Jaffeth) in Lebanon. And then the shop blew up.

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What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

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Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

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what did the boy get after his first communion? unwanted intercourse with his priest that resulted in scaring him for life, until the day he killed himself because he could never get over it.

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What's black and white and red all over? A piece of discarded newspaper previously covering the half dismembered torso of a dead prostitute.

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Yo momma's so fat, however, she takes pride in her size because every body is beautiful.

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What do you call a mormon in a red jumpsuit covered in black spots? Proper terminology for this scenario has not been yet made

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Why would a woman be out of the kitchen? Because she is busy working, being outside, resting, or any other activity that does not include food.

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Yo mamma's so fat, we are all seriously concerned for her health.

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There was a man and a woman. In a lodge all alone ready to create a child. instead of having sex he violently punched her in the face and stabbed her in her armpits until her loud screams for help had stopped.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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black people - basketball rednecks- nascar mexicans- soccer asians- uuuuuh I don't know can i get a hint

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How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

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Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

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Q. Whats Red and yellow and has braces? A.Pierre-Louis

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If you were a pie I'd eat you

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What's the difference between a melon and a baby? You have to cut open the melon before you can eat it

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what happened when the boy jumped? he landed

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Your momma's so dumb, she has below average IQ.

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Smoke Day, Every Weed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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