A man walks into a bar. The man says,"ouch, how could I have not seen the bar."

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what happened to the man who walked into a bar he slipped from the bar of soap and died

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knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

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Two friends sit down to dinner, the third is late so they eat him

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Easy, you get a phone with a recorder that rather than playing a "please leave a message after the tone", plays the same tune as if the phone was still not picked up. Now tell me here and now, because I wont waste more time on you, what part did you play in this? Jenny Chatterton? Another one of your pseudonyms? What the fuck did you think would happen? You live in the Uk, london, so, tell me everything, or I will share every single detail here.

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I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

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Why does Suzie like to wear sunglasses? Because she's blind.

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"The hills are alive..." Impossible, hills can never be alive.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

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What's black and has the texture of tar? Molasses

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

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Yo mama so stupid that when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead

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Three guys walk into a bar. They each have a few drinks. Then all three leave responsibly in a taxi.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Nothing. His parents are dead and Santa doesn't exist.

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Justin Bieber tries to get into a club but is not allowed because he is to young.

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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Why did Michael Jackson become white? He thought he saw a ghost.

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Whats black, white, and red all over? Hot sauce on a checkerboard.

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How to you get a clown off a swing? You shoot it in the face.

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A man walks into a bar, he says ouch.

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How many Babies can be drowned in a toliet at once? idk the bathtub is much more convienient

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Whats worst than getting raped by an old man? -Nothing, getting raped is probably the worst thing to happen to you.

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? POPCORN

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Roses are red Violets are blue What about pansies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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