A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Two flatfishes swam in a bathtub.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

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An indian boy asked his Dad,'Why do we have such long names?' His father didn't reply, he died on the road home.

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Q How do you know when a gay walks into a bar A Albert rushes over and starts feeling him up

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What's tall black and has curly hair? A black guy

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Knock knock Who's there? *silence* WHO'S THERE? *silence* -Looks out window- Slenderman

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what do you call a professional gamer Their name

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What did Jeff do to the bench? He sat on it

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Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk. Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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Why did the baby cry? Because he fell off a refrigerator.

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I used to be able to walk, but then I took an arrow to the knee. It tore my acl and shattered my kneecap.

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Bill Walters from across the street. How are we talking through a door?

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What's the difference between two elephants? One is dead.

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What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

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Tommy got neutered.

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Womens rights.

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? Their both purple. except for the rabbit

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If a tree falls in the forest, does anyone hear it? no, but it was home to several endangered species that are now extinct

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt.

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Q: What did Jenna Jameson say when she heard hard banging near the front door? A: Come inside

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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