How did the blonde die? She got swallowed whole by a 1,000-foot scorpion.

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Q. Why did the man get an email? A. Because he checked his inbox.

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What did the clam say to the scuba diver? FUCK MAN! STOP TOUCHING MY JEWELS! WOULD YOU WANT ME TO JUST RIP YOURS AND TAKE THEM WITH ME!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? It was taped to the other monkey

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To pick up the remains of the thousands of his friends that lost their lives to this joke.

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what do you call a small midget? a smidget.

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DON'T LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH BECAUSE HORSES HAVE BAD BREATH

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Why did the book fly to Cambodia? It was on a plane that was delivering educational material to third world countries to enhance their schools and increase their literacy.

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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What's big, hairy and smells like sweat? The big show after a hard days work in the ring.

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What has a fiery tail and is mentally handicapped? Charetard.

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SpiderMan, under that mask and your superhero clothes who are You really? Under these clothes, I...Am.... naked

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Q. How do you stop a clown from smiling? A. You hit it in the face with an axe.

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how many pieces of wood can a lumberjack cut in a minute? three dead squrlles a hat and and half of a tree oh and a bus. and if u get in his way alot of guts spewed every where

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What did the vegetarian order for lunch? A dead baby.

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What is your bill about? Clinton

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tradegy.

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Why did the woman fall off her bike? She got hit by a car door

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Q: How did the black man own the Lamborgini? A: He was 2 Chainz.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm colorblind.

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Lol... (wow you made me type lol), "like it is nothing to be ashamed of?" Your eyes are really beautiful, honestly probably the most beautiful eyes I have seen... And no, I am not talking about your bewbs.

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I agree to the terms and conditions

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you know your just like my pinkie toe........eventually i am going to bang you on a table

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops