Why does my friend pick up garbage? Because he is a garbageman.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a dear with no eyes? no eyed dear what do you call a dear with no head? dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Stare at the person nearest to you and say "sprinkles" with the straightest face possible.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

My friend thinks he's smart, He said that onions are the only food that make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

how do you wake up a black man? scream!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did Ian pass his CRB check? Because he committed his crimes on holiday

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the blond have a wierd look on her face? Because she was ugly

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Finding a half-eaten worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A duck walks into a bar. In the middle of writing this joke I realized that there were already jokes like this so I stopped writing this one.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks into a haunted house and screams. He had arrows on a nail.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many tickles can you give an octopus? Ten tickles

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A bar walks into a man. The drink orders a bartender. And then the money walks home. End The.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did the man die? he had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock knock. Who's there? Obama. Obama who? Barack Obama, President of the United States. I was wondering if I could borrow a cup of sugar. I'm baking cookies for my family, because they really like my cookies.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

class is canceled. My professor died.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

1 I've been diagnosed with-- 2 I don't give a f*ck, go die in a hole!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's short and weak and has no life..........a Jordan pederson!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

-Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Willis. -Wills who? -IT'S ME WILLIS. YOUR SON! -Whatchu talking bout Willis, I ain't got no son. -Remember Bill, my father? I was conceived on your 20th birthday party. .... - Is he fat white Bill, Mexican Bill, or Billette the shemale? And thus, poor Willis jumps off a bridge, committing suicide, because his biological mother turns out to be a shemale screwing whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the hardest thing about eating a quadriplegic? The wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock Knock. Who`s there? Hadooouuuuuuu! Hadou who? KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN! PERFECT!!! Perfect Bonus: 38493483948394839483984 Skill 0000000 Your life 0 Bonus 9001

thumb_up thumb_down -20

how do you get 20 people in a mini? open the door would be a good start but i dont think they will all fit.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man gets three wishes from a talking banana. His first wish is for a gay lover, his second wish is to have a naked grizzly bear, and his third is to become a professional tennis player. Soon after he got Aids from the Grizzly bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's black and dangerous? A fridge, I lied about the black part.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops