Knock Knock Who's there? I said who's there? The man opens the door to find there was no one there and begins to shake in fear as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Person 1 - Have you heard about the movie about constipation? Person 2 - No. Person 1 - It hasn't come out yet

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, Oh shit, my garden is on fire

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how many dead guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6

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If I fly my canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, then how many lollipops does Obama have? None, because dogs can't use flashlights.

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An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

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What did Batman's mother say when it was time for dinner? Nothing, Batman's parents are dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, that's why I'm asking you.

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what did the tree say to the person? nothing trees cant talk

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

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What's worse than waking up with a hangover? Not waking up at all

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How do you confuse a black man? Call him from a blocked number and I say "I love you"

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am a bitch, and so are you!

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Why do i love this website? Because it is funny.

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What's worse than stepping on legos? Massive genocide

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What's worse than tornadoes in the USA? Earthquakes in Japan.

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Two men were walking down the street. All of a sudden, the first man turns to the second and pulls out his hands of 4 fingers each. The second man shows his hand of 6 fingers each. What does this show about them? Together they have 20 fingers total.

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What's the safest way to tell a racist joke? Ask everybody who might hear the joke if they would be offended by a racist joke.

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Daniel Textor can suck a gooch he's such a F - A - GGGGG!! Let's beat him up at lunch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops