Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain. Chuck promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense.

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Q: John eats 50 cany bars, eats 45, how many does he have now? A: Diabetes

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender--TOAST

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Oh, I was just asking.

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Q. Name six animals that live in the north pole A.Four polar-bears and two penguins

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What did the teacher say to the kid who got a 0 on a multiple choice spelling test? Wow your really dumb. Idiot

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How did the blind man cross the road? With the use of a cane and a registered seeing eye dog

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Shit on her face

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what did the blonde mail to her boyfriend? nothing, blonde's can't write.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My body is ready I want you

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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How do you make a person who wins the lottery sad? You threaten to kill his family.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? -Who's there? Not the girl.

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What is funnier than one dead baby? Two dead Babies

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being raped What's worse than being Raped. Being Raped 2 times by a Giant Scorpion.

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Why didn't the little asian kid go to his friends party? Because he wasnt invited.

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What did the plane say to the twin towers? Boom

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can A hundred dead babies in a trash can Whats worse than a hundred dead babies in a trash can A live one at the bottom Whats worse than that It eats it way out Whats worse than that It brings friends

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Roses are red, pink, white or yellow. Stop stereotyping my arrogant fellow.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? It didn't. Anyone who would believe that is a complete moron.

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Who did the dinosuar, that's pretty fricken awesome!

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Why was the baker rich? Because he had a lot of money

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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What did the Frog say to the other Frog? Nothing they can't speak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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