A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we've got a drink named after you!". The grasshopper turns and says "You've got a drink named Steve?"

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why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

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What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

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People say the sky's the limit................................ but there's footprints on the moon.

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why did the mexican cross the road? to get to the lawn mowing shop becuase his wife has breast cancer, and he cant pay the bills sitting on his butt and getting a check from the government every month

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whats 2+2? math.

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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There were 3 guys named Sean, Ryan, and Eye. They were best friends. However, things escalated when Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend and Ryan found out. Ryan felt he had to tell Sean that Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend. Ryan went up to Sean and said "Dude, Eye slept with your girlfriend!" Then Sean shot Ryan in the head before Ryan realized what he had said. Game Over

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Life gave me onions. Onionaide Sucks

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I Have a Black Friend

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're white. Or pink. Or yellow. There are roses of many colors.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: In order to avoid being mauled by a coyote.

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What do you call a black man with a speech impediment? By his name.

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The man that loved birds so much that he played golf just to get a birdie.

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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What do you call a seagull that flew into the bay? Wet.

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What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

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Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

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Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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Why did 4 Christians, 2 Jews, 1 Muslim, 1 Buddhist and an atheist squeeze into a Honda Accord? One of their co-workers at Appleby's made a compelling case for the financial and environmental benefits of carpooling.

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Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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