Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A man walks into a bar and asks for 6 vodka shots. The bartender looks at him in a strange manner. The man quickly downs all 6 of the vodka shots. The bartender looks at the man and says "Jeepers mate, whats the celebration?" The man replies "Well mate, first blow job today" The bartender in a kind gesture says "Here you go mate, next one is one me" while pouring another shot. The man respectfully replies, "No thanks mate, if 6 didn't get the taste away, im sure 7 won't"

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human being and one is an inanimate object that people enjoy sitting on.

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A man visits an anti joke site looking for some humor. realizing that its not funny, he closes the window.

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Your mom showed up at my house last night. I kindly greeted her and asked if I could help her with anything.

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Set up Punch line.

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so a piece of grass is walking down the street..... wait a minute thats not right.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because chickens just walk places. they have no agenda.

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Yo momma is so ugly that she uses it as motivation to work hard and thus for achieve more than a lot of whores do

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What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 1027

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you know whats not funny white boards.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Knock Knock CUM IN!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

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why did the man buy kool aid? because it was on sale and he was thirsty

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My friend and I were telling jokes the other day. Ha said " I've run out of dead baby jokes!" to which I replied " I've run out of dead babies."

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Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

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Why was the black guy hanging from the tree? Because he committed suicide because his wife of 20 years left him, is only child hates him and due to the bad economy is job at wall street was terminated.

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If life gives you AIDs, make lemonaids.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing ? Because she lost her balance and the force of gravity put upon her was too great for her to bear, resulting in her fall.

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A Muslim and 2 French people walked into a bar They start to have a nice conversation about Charlie Hebdo

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They beat her mercilessly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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