What has two legs and bleeds alot? Half a cat!

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So there's this big ass bronco right? It goes to a store and it asks Ben Roethlisberger "Do you know where I can find some girls to rape?" Ben Roethlsiberger says "In aisle 5" so the moose goes down to aisle 5 but there aint no girls!

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what did the boy in the blue hat do? wear his blue hat

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How types of people are there? One, we are the only homo sapiens.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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A:Wanna hear a joke? B: Sure A: A joke

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My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

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What's the difference between two elephants? One is dead.

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The chicken crossed the road.

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Why did 5 members of the Al-Qaeda walk into the bank? To make 5 seperate cash withdrawals

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why do firemen wear red suspenders. I dont know because they go with there hat.

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Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

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A black man walks in to a 7 Eleven with a gun in his left pocket. He innocently walks over to the place where they keep all the hostess treats, and decides to purchase a pack of crumb donuts. The gun was purely for self defense, it was a bad neighborhood.

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A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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emma: mat has a quick reaction time

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Whats black white and red all over? A decapitated panda.

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What did the girl say when she got her period? Nothing, why would she want anyone to know?

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This is not an anti-joke... A man is walking down a street and see's a small boy crying in an alley. The man walks up to him and asks him "What's wrong little guy?" The boy replies that his family is poor, they just got evicted from there house and his parents decided to kill themselves. The man decides out of guilt to bring the boy home and support him for a few days. Three days later the man see's a note on the couch that says "Thank You..." Signed Jamal. The man sighs and says to himself "Your Welcome." The man walks into his room and see's the boy's body in his closet. He starts hysterically laughing and cries into his pillow for many minutes. When he is done sobbing he asks himself "What could be worst than this?" The man walks to his kitchen asking that question over and over. He reaches into his cabinet and grabs his cereal and pours into his bowl. The boy walks out chuckling and says, "Bye bye..." The man was poisoned and died. Now the boy get's the other cereal out and is about to pour it only to find out it was empty. "Screw the Holocaust this SUCKS!!!!!"

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Why did the boy spill his lemonade? He was attacked by ravage dogs.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because his older brother was forcing him to pee on an electrical socket.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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why did the Chinese guy take steroids? He didn't he's naturally small.

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Whats white and sticky? Marshmellows

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Girlfriend: OMG! what could be worst than you cheating on me? Holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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