Did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off, how is he? Well you see, the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off...He's dead. I..um..he's straight up dead. I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell ya.

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God is the English name given to a singular being in theistic and deistic religions who is either the sole deity in monotheism, or a single deity in polytheism. He (I use the term 'He' as it is the most common conception) is said to be omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent. I highly doubt he will give you lemons.

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the holocaust

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Why are there so many anti-jokes about refrigerators? Because the writer of the joke was pressured by terrorists that would kill him if he didn't write about refrigerators.

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What do you call a black guy with a gun? A police officer.

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Why the chimp fell off the tree? Because it's dead.

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Yo Mama's so fat when she fell out of the tree she hit the ground very, very hard.

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Some guy: Which of these is not delicious,watermelon,chicken,or kool aid. Black guy: What?

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? Dead babies are not sports cars

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Jesus, a frog, and Faith Hill walk into a bar. The frog says, "What is this, a joke?"

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A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal, and this wasn't just any road. It was the new highway built, with frequent traffic jams and a speed limit of 90 mph.

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Why don't bats have penises? They do. I tried. Menstruation.

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What's the difference between a black preist and a white priest? the color of their skin.

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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whats worst then being raped tortured and killed? it happening to 500000 puppies DX

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I'm Coming

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Doctor: Knock knock. Patient: Whose there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor. Patient: Interrupting doc... Doctor: Your son has AIDS and will die soon.

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What do astronauts and Wayne Rooney have in common? I don't know. Ok.

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Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet? The people who were in charge of that decision.

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Billy: Hey Timmy, you're so fat your high school picture was an aerial photograph Timmy: Oh yeah? Well you're so fat when you tried to take that photograph the helicopter pilot told you to get out because you're too fat

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is suicidal and should probably get help.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are red I'm colorblind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops