- Anti Joke

stephen hawking walks into a bar, and those who recognize him are shocked that he's no longer in his wheelchair, and approach him to let him know this, but it turns out they were wrong, it was just a man with similar facial features to stephen hawking.

If you have 12 apples and 7 oranges in one hand, and 9 apples and 10 oranges in one hand, what do you have? Very large hands.

What's taters, precious? The potato is a starchy, tuberous crop from the perennial Solanum tuberosum of the Solanaceae family.

Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. <<< This is the ultimate tough anti-joke Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

A blue whale walks into a bar. The bartender says "What can I get for you?" The blue whale says "EEEEEEYYYYYYYOOOOHHHHHMMMMMMM"

I'm gay Mr Goodwin

A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Oooh a cloud

Why did the Mexican cross the road? The light was green.

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Knock Knock Who's there? Jeff Oh hey Jeff, come on in

Why did the fish fly It didn't

wat is osama bin ladin's favorite sport grenade catch

Why Was 6 Afraid of 7? Because 7 was a Pedophile

What has four legs, but cannot walk? A giraffe with polio.

Knock knock Who is there? Your mom Your mom who? STOP WITH THIS GAME AND JUST OPEN THE DOOR!

Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

Why did the man give money to a drug dealer? He lost a bet.

What do you say to a dead man who knocks on your door? Nothing, you shoot him cause he's a zombie

The latter three thousand pages of this website.

I'm pretty sure you can't throw a fridge...