What did the man say when he saw a giant herd of elephants coming? "Look! There's a giant herd of elephants coming!"

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how many dead babies can you fit into a blender? 17 how do you get them out? Tortilla chips, but you'd be arrested by that time anyway because you just murdered 17 babies

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Chuck Norris walks in to a bar then many people greet him because of his celebrity status.

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Two pretzels were walking down the street when one got assaulted...

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A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

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Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why was the dog crying? Do dogs even cry?

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Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

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My love life

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What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

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Get Outta Here We're Closed!

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What's bigger than a moose? An even bigger moose.

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Why isnt there any mexicans on star trek? Because even in the future they dont work.

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If life gives you melons, you have dyslexia.

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Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

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whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

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no

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Man: Why do you wear your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Woman: Oh, wow, thanks for pointing that out. Silly me.

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Roses are *yanks hair* Violets are *yanks hair* *sobs and yanks hair* I have tricolomania

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Three mexicans walk into a bathroom they all had to go pee.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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