What comes after 69? mouthwash

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HEYEEYAHEYAYYAEEAHHAAA

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A man walks into a bar. On the way home, he is driving, careers off the road and crashes. Lesson here. Don't walk into poles

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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There are two muffins in an oven neither can say anything at the moment, however, because both are in excruciating pain.

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why did Bernard have a bold because I ripped his Mohawk

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a horse is a horse. of course of course....unless its a cow

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My, you you... SEDUCER! XD, and there I go proving your point by going uppercase XD

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Your mom is such a slut that your dad didn't even ask her if you were his biological child and raised you as if you were, regardless of what the dna results may suggest.

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How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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"Hello, is this the Krusty Krab?" "No, this is Patrick."

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Why couldn't the surgeon perform surgery? Because he was in court being sued due to the fact that he administered too much anesthesia to a patient, who later died of overdose..

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What is the gay guy thinking about? Penis

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing. Cats can't talk.

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Why didn't Suzie go to the park? She commited suicide 2 years ago.

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Why didn't Debbie go to the theme park with the rest of her family? Because she died the week before.

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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We can never ask enough hypothetical questions, can we? Well?

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What did the man say before he killed himself? I am going to kill myself

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How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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Justin Beiber

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Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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