Q:What the difference between a piano and a guitar A: Nothing, there both instruments and i lied about the difference

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ask me if i'm a tree are you a tree? No.

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How do you know a baby is dead ? When the dog plays with it more!

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I walked into a Mcdonald's and ordered a Big Mac. I regretted it later.

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WTF THINKING: "If you are going trough hell go back to where the path to hell began just get the fuck out of there you stupid dumbass muddaf0cker" "If you feel life is pushing you five steps back for each one you go forward, just turn your fucking back to your goal and you will get there in no time" "Never ever ever ever ever give up" -Fucking inspiring when you just give up after a certain number of "evers" "IT IS BETTER TO REIGN IN HEAVEN THAN TO SERVE IN HEAVEN!" "I forgot the rest" Nero the ONLY moralman (Fuck Neronism and they copying my shit, I am the only psychopath animal theRAPIST in town! (Female animals only, you think I am a pervert or something? Be ashamed you perverted deviant!)

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what did the jew get for Christmas? cancer. and aids

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How do you get an elephant in the fridge in three moves open the door, put it in, close the door How do you put an giraffe in the fridge in four moves open the door, take out the elephant, put the giraffe in, and close the door

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What did hitler said to the chinese? Thank you for continuing my legacy.

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Once upon a time, The end.

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I am paralyzed from the neck down.

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Sometimes I fantasize about having sexual relations with Oprah Winfrey. Sometimes I don't.

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Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

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yo mamma so ugly I think she has cancer

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How long does it take a black woman to have a baby? Nine months, give or take a few days depending on whether she goes into labour early or not.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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Knock knock Who's there Banana Bananas can't talk. Crap he's on to me

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What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

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Why was the dog fallowing the fat guy. The fat guy said come.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can extrapolate from incomplete data

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Im blind

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YOU

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What did the priest say to the Atheist when he walked into the church? How are you?

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Three cows are sitting in a field The first cow says, "MOOOO!" The second cow says, "MOOOO!" The third cow says, "MOOOO!"

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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