Why do dogs chase squirrels? Beacuse dogs have very low attention spands and also chase cars and cats.

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Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Drumset.

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What do you call two mexicans playing basketball? A good example of friendly competition.

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What did the wall say to the other wall? I didn't say anything because it isn't living and it can't talk because it is impossible.

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How many ADHD kids does it take to change a light bulb? Let's go ride our bikes!

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An elderly man farts during Sunday morning mass. The children around him laugh and then their parents remind them to be respectful.

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what do you call a dog with no legs? whatever his owner named him it is a shame he can`t run and play with other dogs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's always an Asian Better than you

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. So now he's dead. No more eating of shoes.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your penis having your wife bite of your penis and die from an infecction

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Q: What do you call a girl who wears a tuxedo to prom? A: Comfortable with the way she looks.

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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What's worse than finding out your dad has AIDS? Finding out your little brother also has it, but you and your mother don't.

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What did the man say when he had sex for the first time "So how come I'm the one with the vagina"?

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Q: What's white, is Mel Gibson, and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree? A: Mel Gibson.

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Why did the Mexican man jump to the floor? He had a stroke.

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What do you call a black woman who had 4 abortions? A Crimestopper

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET.

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What did Jesus say as he walked on water and people went like WOHOO! OMG WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO CHISEL THIS INTO JEWTUBE SO EVERYONE CAN SEE! "BEHOLD AS I WALK UPON THIS WATER WHILE ALL OF YOU HAVE FAILED BEFORE ME! ONLY I CAN WALK OF THIS WATER OF FROZEN WITHOUT SLIPPING! Nero: Because go fuck yourself asshole. Lol... Jewtube was not as widely available as youtube so yeah... Walking on ice without falling over was a big thing back then... You know such as OMG! EATING BREAD AND DRINKING WINE! WOOOOOOAAAAH SCIENCE! AND BURNING BUSHES SPOKE AND... Moral: "Ill be back, you know, just to annoy you, and because I want to, a real man needs no other reason, and that is why you fuckers need so many of them"

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what starts with F and ends with ead? Fred was walking to school one day when he heard a strange noise in a tree. He walked up to the tree, looked up, and saw a cat. Fred was late for class, so he decided to go to school and help the cat out after school. Eight hours later, Fred came up to the tree and looked up to see if the cat was there. It wasn't. The cat was lying next to the tree, dead.

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What happens when you throw a midget off of a tall building? It dies and the people below get midget on them

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An old white lady falls on the ground in the middle of the night. Just then, two positively huge black men in hoodies walk up to her and she is frightened. But as it turned out, they just wanted to help her get on her feet, and called a taxi for her. When she had no money, they gladly paid her fare. This is because they're good people and not muggers

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why cant little timmy ski? he was born without legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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