what did the woman call the man who ate Ham? A Pig

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If I told you I was straight I'd be lying

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You know what's a joke? Something Funny

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Why couldn't the Nativity have taken place in France? The winters are not warm enough to sleep in an animal cave without getting hypothermia, and there was no census taking place at the time.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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knock,knock you suck

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Q: What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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Knock knock. Who is their? Grammar. Grammar who? Of course you don't know.

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why did the baby cross the road i tied it to the back of a car

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A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

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What did one muffin say to the other? I'm baked... just kidding muffins are food and therefore can not speak

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What is red and green and goes round and round? A frog in a blender!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was suicidal

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why was the girl raped? she left the kitchen.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What is similar about a white person and a white fence? Mexicans jump them.

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1-1 was a race horse, 1-2 was one too, 1-1 won one once and 1-2 won one too

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What's worse than a paper cut? 2 paper cuts.

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what do you do with a fat little chug...kick em in the guts

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Did you hear the one about the bus driver? Me neither

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whats worse than a friend asking you if their ugly, telling them to look in the mirror.

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When geese fly in the "V" shape, why is one side longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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