What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the rest of the kids during recess? Tiffany is a pencil.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

"I am proud to be black and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist. "I am proud to be white and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Racist and offensive to black people "I am proud to be asian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist "I am proud to be Ethiopian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Said nobody, ever

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call it when a dead man has his wallet stolen? Rob Zombie.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How did the guy fall off the roof? He was pushed

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why are anti-jokes funny? They are not because they have no punchline and if you wern't a complete dumbass you would have the ability to read the description on the right off the page.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did Johnny fall off of the swing? The swing was defective. Knock, knock. Who's there? Johnny's lawyer.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?".

thumb_up thumb_down +19

My wife made me a sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was little Jimmy sad? Multiple complications including broken bones, a fractured skull, liver disease, and the fact that all his family had been gassed by the Nazis.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

http://www.com/

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Did you here about the Asian couple who had a stupid baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong

thumb_up thumb_down +19

If Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and Charlie Sheen were in a room together and you had a gun with two bullets, who would you shoot? Well Hitler and Bin Laden are already dead, and Charlie probably wouldn't die. Plus, I honestly don't think I could bring myself to shoot someone.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

You may notice something very odd about this paragraph. There is something strange although you can't figure it out. It is boggling your mind and keeping it from thinking of the real purpose of this paragraph. It is like an enigma in an enigma in an enigma in an enigma. Stop thinking hard and think inside Da Box. I just wasted your valuable time although it's not really valuable if your looking at this website.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats worse than getting a paper-cut? Getting shot. In the head. Three times.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops