What's worse than finding out your dad has AIDS? Finding out your little brother also has it, but you and your mother don't.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your penis having your wife bite of your penis and die from an infecction

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red corvette? i don't have a red corvette in my garage

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What did the wall say to the other wall? I didn't say anything because it isn't living and it can't talk because it is impossible.

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An elderly man farts during Sunday morning mass. The children around him laugh and then their parents remind them to be respectful.

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Why did the clown want a new bike? Don't ask me, clowns are allowed to want things too

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How did the Jewish man play racquetball? With a racket and a birdie.

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A couple is playing chess. The man then chokes his wife to death, throws her body in a woodchopper, and eats her like cereal- Frost

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What do you call two mexicans playing basketball? A good example of friendly competition.

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What did goldilocks say to the three bears? she was savagely murdered before she could say anything.

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How many ADHD kids does it take to change a light bulb? Let's go ride our bikes!

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Drumset.

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Why do dogs chase squirrels? Beacuse dogs have very low attention spands and also chase cars and cats.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? hit it with a brick.

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This isn't funny.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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What did Robin say to Justin Beiber? You're gay. Angus L.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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What happens when you throw a midget off of a tall building? It dies and the people below get midget on them

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What did Jesus say as he walked on water and people went like WOHOO! OMG WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO CHISEL THIS INTO JEWTUBE SO EVERYONE CAN SEE! "BEHOLD AS I WALK UPON THIS WATER WHILE ALL OF YOU HAVE FAILED BEFORE ME! ONLY I CAN WALK OF THIS WATER OF FROZEN WITHOUT SLIPPING! Nero: Because go fuck yourself asshole. Lol... Jewtube was not as widely available as youtube so yeah... Walking on ice without falling over was a big thing back then... You know such as OMG! EATING BREAD AND DRINKING WINE! WOOOOOOAAAAH SCIENCE! AND BURNING BUSHES SPOKE AND... Moral: "Ill be back, you know, just to annoy you, and because I want to, a real man needs no other reason, and that is why you fuckers need so many of them"

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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why cant little timmy ski? he was born without legs.

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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