"Hey, do you guys wanna hear a joke?!" -no, shut up.

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An English ship lands in the New World and offers to trade with the natives. The ship actually carried foreign diseases that the natives had no immunity to, and they all died.

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How you know that you are flying with a "no frills" airline? There are no meals or films provided, no orange juice to drink during ascent and descent and no mid-flight shop service.

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So your a murder, and you show everyone your knife. what do you do, easy just chat with them.

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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Why did the guy fall into the ocean? He was surfing

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Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

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Why did samba hurt her head? Because she fell out of her mum muff

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What happens when you go swimming in the rain? You get wet.

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why cant fat people walk because they are fat

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What's black and white and read all over? Half a zebra.

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

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A man gets home from work with red on his collar. His wife asks what it is. The man replies "I had sex with a young woman, your to old and you disqust me"

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Dusters blow stuff.

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what did the astronaut say to the rocket scientist? hi

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Whats the difference between an american and a arab? Their Ethnicity.

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Q. How did the blind man savvier from walking of a cliff? A. He didn't he died.

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Why does mcguigan get made fun of ? Because he is gay with Jack Walsh

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A man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie emerged from the lamp. The genie asked what his new master's wishes were. The man wished for asthma.

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Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

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3 men of different races walk into a bar. The bartender then proceeds to ask, "what would you 3 men like?"

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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Why is it a shame if a kid gets run over by a car? I like the newspaper headlines about stabbings better.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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