So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

Why did the cookie die Because a fat kid was hungry

"Knock Knock" "Who's there" "BOO" "BOO WHO" "No it's just BOO"

what did the child say to his mother? daddy raped me!

What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

This is the concept of anti-joke.

What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He felt like crossing roads that day.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge. Why did Sally fall off her bike? She was hit by a falling monkey and fridge.

What happens when a blond walks into a bar She buys a drink

How did the rabbi die? It didnt it lived through the shooting

what do you call a black man that killed somebody? a murderer.

You know why they call me Scuba Steve? Because I Scuba Dive.

Knock, knock. Door opened.

A Jew walks into a bar screaming cause he just broke his face

Whats the difference between a baby and my freezer? I don't stick my meat in the freezer!

What's long, hard, and has come in it? A long, hardcovered book.

Want to hear an anti joke? Me too thats why Im on this site.

Why did the elephant cross the road? It escaped the zoo.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

how did the fat man get up the stairs he walked

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in every apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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