knock! knock! Whos there? Chris Hansen..

2 sausages were in a frying pan. 1 sausage says it sure is hot in here, the other sausage says WTF a talking sausage!

A father had three children Rose Daisy and Cinderblock. Rose comes up to her father and asks"daddy why am i named Rose?' the father answered"well when you were a baby a rose petal fell on your head"Rose Reply's "oh thats nice" and walk's away. the Daisy comes up and ask's "Daddy! why am i named Daisy!" the Dad answered "well. when you were a baby a rose petal fell on your head" Daisy Replied" oh ok i guess" and walked away. Then Cinderblock came up and asked "duuuhhhd" and the father simply replied" Shut up Cinderblock".

Whats funnier then a dead baby a dead baby dressed as a clown

What's green and has wheels? Weed. I lied about the wheels.

Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A: Because he was shot in the face

Why did the chicken cross the road? Doesn't matter. He was hit by a semi truck.

If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

Why was the dinosaur laughing so hard? He heard a very humorous joke

A black person tans and starts to peel, what do you get? A white person.

How many Pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1. and "pollack" is a derogatory term that could be fond offensive to some people.

While your reading this. A man is robbing your home and sodomizing your dog

What did the African say to the Mexican? "Hola, Como estas?" and the Mexican did not respond because he didn't speak Spanish.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your Fallopian tubes ripped out by wolverine

Jimmy can't drive the tractor. Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he's a patato

whats worse than the holocaust ? ms.brinkmann? noo close....a black guy trying toget a job.

I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

why did the black guy die? cancer

How Many Chickens does it take to make an egg? NOrmally 2

Women's Rights..

Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

Why was little Tommy scared? Because he'd just been abducted by a psychopathic rapist.

How fast do Jews cook? It depends how many you have in the oven at once.

I'm on the Seafood Diet. I eat seafood to replace fatty red meats, in conjunction with fruit and vegetables.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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