what do you call when a penis is inside a vagina? sex

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What did Steve jobs tell bill gates? Please pass the salt.

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How did the black man get into college? A mop.

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What's funnier than 24? Nothing, 24 is just a number. There's is nothing humorous about it. Go away.

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Who is happpier than the grouch about the Zombie Apoclypse? Dora.

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What's green and has wheels? A refrigerator, I lied about the green and the wheels.

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MRLSIXBWBSOVODKSHAIFKQJXIGJNRMWKSJDIVIVKEBWBEBKGKBODJWBEBJRRKFOBPBPDJWVECTNYLLNNIFUDJEBWKSOXOVOFJSBSBDKCKFKTKEBEJDLDOFIDKDJDHDBENSMSKSKSKSKSJDJDJSNRNTNTKDPQPWJSHCHCJDNEBBSJSKC

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Give to the less fortunate. Date ugly people

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because his weekend was busy!

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Ask me if i am a tree? "Are you a tree" No.

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KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMELEON

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Why did the plane crash? because there were two towers in front of it.

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glasses, jacket, shirt They call me glasses, jacket, shirt man. I never leave the house...without my brodies. hehehe hahaha hohoho!

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So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home.

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What's funnier than a fat person falling nothing is

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding two worms in your apple. Whats worse than finding two worms in your apple, the Holocaust. Whats worse than the Holocaust, finding three worms in your apple.

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Mexicans are inferior because! BEECUZ! Listen buddy, to be honest, I get girls every now and then because I am what they all want me to be, myself. You are a great friend as far as I am concerned, and I care a lot about you considering I saw you once like... 13 years ago, but I do not spend an entire night chatting with someone on horsehead network out of all things unless that person means a lot more than sex for me... Hell, if I did not feel that nice about you, I would not even have wanted to, and that sounds really awkward for a guy like me to say, believe me, you wont be losing a friend. AS LONG AS YOU KEEP GIVING IT TO ME! I am joking, but this is who I am (sadly) I have many female friends, and yeah well, some I well you know, I am just not the kind of guy that listens to girls sob stories, and pretend to be their gay best friend, while I watch someone bad ass come and bang her... Nah, I am more like that bad ass banger, except I dont break girls hearts afterwards. Seriously, I am really fond of you, to the point where I will say something guys mostly do not say: If you are feeling pressured into stuff, then dont do it, you wont be losing a friend, I wanna spend an intimate night with you (day, shower, on the breakfast table all that) but thats because I really like you, we have built some intimacy in pretty short time if you ask my opinion... See? Now I am being honest and leaving myself vulnerable, and I do that because I honestly care about you.

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Knock-knock? Who's there? I... I dunno I was planning on thinking of a joke before you said who's there, but I ran out of time.

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What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

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Why did the heroin addict get staff infection? His skin broke open multiple times without proper cleansing.

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Q: What did the magician do to cure his cold?? A: Took medicine!

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My childhood friend said she had a bad breakup with her husband (yeah husband), and that she needed a really stiff one. Come on! How was I supposed to know she was talking about alcohol! She did blush and smile after I pulled my pants down however, that`s like seven out of ten right? I mean I was just trying to help a friend out right? And myself, fine myself, but it will be a total win/win situation, you know... Those where you win twice? "Dont worry, Im not comming" *pewpew*

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Knock knock Who's there? (Punch the listner in the face)

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A blind man walks into a wall.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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