have you ever heard of the mexican that went to college...no...oh me neither

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What did Tiger Woods say when his wife hit him with a golf club? "Why did you hit me with a golf club".

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are red I'm colorblind

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How do you make a plumber cry? You steal his princess

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How many kids does Buzz Light Year have? To infinity and beyond!!

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Friend: how obsessed are you with harry potter on a scale from 1-10 Me: 9 and 3/4

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Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet? The people who were in charge of that decision.

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Why didn't the busy San Francisco business man hear his alarm clock ring this morning? A nuclear bomb blast occurred 700 meters from his front door. The estimated blast radius was approximately 100 square miles. Naturally, his alarm clock didn't make it.

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Q: Knock knock Q: Who's there? A: Not Suzie

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whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

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A squirrel is about to steal the eggs of a sparrow when the sparrow suddenly says, "Stop! I will do anything if you would spare my eggs!" The squirrel has no capacity to reason and so steals the eggs anyway. The sparrow is devastated.

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Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

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I don't find blind jokes funny. Honestly, I just can't see the humor in them.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? alot of things, worms don't taste that bad.

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Cancer.

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Why did the black man jump out of the plane? He was going on a parachute dive with his friend.

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What a wonderful life!!! *gunshot*

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Why doesn't Charlie Sheen take showers? Because he spends too much time on MySpace.

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What happens if you Put a Mental Patient in a cage He goes crazy, Develops schizophrenia and Eventually dies of Many Incurable Diseases

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why did the little boy fall over? he was hit in the face by a salmon.

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What do you do when life hands you lemons? Go home, look for the ingredients on which to make proper, delicious lemonade. Afterward, I would go in the front yard, make a stand, then make a sign that says $1.00 lemonade. Then you know make millions on your master-mind plan that no one else ever thought of.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer..... I'm going to rip the scalp off of your son and where it on my face to a Cherokee Sacrificial Ceremony The other lawyer was actually a lightbulb

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? It's hard to say, as this number depends on a large number of factors including the average area covered by one lick, the pH of saliva, the solubility of Tootsie Pops, the temperature of both the saliva and the Tootsie Pop, and the amount of saliva deposited on the Tootsie Pop after each lick. This is not to mention all the manufacturing irregularities that may occur during production, and varying tongue shapes and solvency properties of saliva.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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