Why was the man scared? Because he was being attacked by a giant tiger.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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I can be considerate if like someone is burning to death and I was the one considerate enough to lit them on fire... Wait no, I am considerate towards my friends (which are all ladies, all men besides me are obstacles and nothing else) AAAAND my logic processor broke down. Anyway, please do me the honors, take the last message.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, that was a turkey. Oh.

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You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

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What happens to the blond when she reaches the top of the stairs She falls down them

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What did the boy with asthma say to his friend I can't breath

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What's funnier than 1 anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

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A duck walks into a bar, but he is kicked out because he is not 21

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Roses are red, Violets are violet,

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house No Neither has he.

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Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

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Whats faster than a black man running away from the cops? The speed of light.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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What is the differnce between a baby and a watermelon??? One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari. There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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Whats wrong with that Nothing

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What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

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Q. What is the fastest animal in the world? A. An Ethiopian chicken.

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Why was the little kid bullied? Because kids are goats.

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When do doctors make house calls? When you're sick.

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A pig walks into a bar and says, "Oink."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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