Poop!!

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot? an orange parakeet

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Why did the Jew hate bananas? He was deathly allergic to them.

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What do you do when you see an elephant with a basket ball? Engage in play - if the elephant is playing with a basket ball it is most likely domesticated, and if it has toys it's probably well treated. Well-treated elephants raised in captivity are tolerant, sociable, intelligent and playful.

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Hickory Dickory Dock My dog died today.

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"knock knock" "who's there" "I dont know, check the door"

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I found someone on the ground who wasn't breathing and had no pulse.They must have been in a damn deep sleep.

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Why did the spider cross the road? He was stuck to the bottom of my shoe!

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What is the difference between a tree and a person? Trees don't scream when hit with an axe.

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What's black and white and red all over? The Nazi Flag in WW II

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If life gives you AIDs, make lemonaids.

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whats purple, extinct, and smells like children? barney

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Who enforces the law strongly and forces people to obey them? Terrorists that have seized control of a town.

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A sober Amy Winehouse

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? names.....

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yo mamas so fat whenever she wears a pink bathing suit people say "look at that fat lady wearing a pink bathing suit!

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"knock knock" "whos there?" there was no response from the other side but the knocking continued, the homeowner felt distressed so phoned the police...

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Cum on guys, gay jokes arent funny!

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roses are red and violets are in fact violet

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What's faster a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk.

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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Yo mama so poor that she's having trouble making ends meet without government assistance.

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So a person asked a blonde in America which was closer: the Moon or Canada? The blonde responded "Canada"

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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