Two guys walk into a bar, and they ordered two drinks. Then the bartender said, "Two dollars, please." - Brandie PANG

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the midget beat the basketball player in a foot race? the basketball player got bit by a scorpion and died within minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Kefka > Sephiroth

thumb_up thumb_down +1

how do you make a little boy cry? Kill his parents in front of him .

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I live in a very rural area, so it's not easy to just go to the store and pick something up. I try to find out how to do things with the stuff I have on hand, so I Googled spot remover, but there are only pictures of stain cleaners. Please help. Spot has rabies.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Dislike this joke for a cookie However if you like this joke you dont get a cookie

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What worse than finding crap on the road? Tripping over and landing on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, killed 6's family and made him watch...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the beautiful girl get the job over the not so beautiful looking girl She was more qualified

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between difference and between? One is difference the other is between.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 116 years.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Young Billy was arrested today for saying he was going to be a terrorist for Halloween.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Nowadays, aviation is the most secure means of conveyance in the world, but paragliding is not.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why don't I understand myself? Because I am an anti-joke and lack a self-aware existence.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the clitoris say to the labia? I'm from the hood, the clitoral hood.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q-how many dead babies does it take to paint your geradge door? A-one if you throw it hard enough

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man comes into a bar. Wait, it's a horse. A man comes into a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock, who's there? Doctor. Doctor who?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happenswhen a geman shepard jumps into a lake? it gets wet

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I was on Facebook today. Opened someones wall. Read "LIKE if you know someone that needs to be smacked in the face with a shovel." So I liked it and wrote my exboyfriend's name.......

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a gay person and a Nazi? No gay person systematically murdered 6 million people.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the director call cut? Because he was shot dead by Nazis.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops