whdid the cop say to the robber as he ran out of the bakery? I caught you bread handed

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock Knock there's a doorbell

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a house full of Mexicans? A house

thumb_up thumb_down +24

BBW BABY IS THE BEST BETTER THAN THE REST WELL EXCEPT MILF BABY. SUBSCRIBE TO BigHDGuns

thumb_up thumb_down +24

i'll leave 'em dead in the living room. get it leave 'em dead in the living room

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a big hungry duck? A duck thats hungry and big

thumb_up thumb_down +24

how did the girl with a hook-hand do her hair? She didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None we have mexicans for that

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Bend Over.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between a fat man and a little boy? Despite the fact that they were dropped on two different cities, one was made out of uranium, the other was made out of plutonium.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? A: A very unfortunate individual.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats a Quires favorite type of sport?--- A contact sport

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the homeless man get for christmas eve? Hypothermia. What did the children get for christmas day? A traumatic experience when they tripped over his snow-covered corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why are black people so good at basketball? because they understand the fundamentals, work hard at becoming better, and have fun playing the game/

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops