what's the difference between a crocodile?

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up which puts resistance on his arms and therefore strengthens his arm muscles and performs physical exercise.

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

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Argon walks into a bar. The bartender yells, "Get the hell out!" Argon doesn't react.

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Q-What's the good thing about dating a girl volleyball player? A- She's a Girl

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A black man approaches a customer service desk and asks for help. He is racially discriminated and receives no help with his problem.

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What's funnier than 1 anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did the man get frustrated searching through a box of forks? He was looking for a spoon.

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What did the coney say to the hotdog? At least i kill people.

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How many apples come from trees? None, not a single one of em'

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who likes gay porn and has dirty littlesweeneys thathesticks up his hole? Jahn Willems

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What does the lifeguard do on his free time? Ejaculate.

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What's brown and adhesive? A stick

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Yo mammas so fat she wears big clothes!

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What's Arabs' cutlery? Bread

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Why did the man soil himself at his daughters wedding? Because he has an enlarged prostate and has trouble sitting down for long periods of time.

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"Knock, knock." "You don't have to say that. The door's open, come on in."

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What happenswhen a geman shepard jumps into a lake? it gets wet

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what do you call a guy that looks exactly like Mario. Frank because thats his name.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Q: what does a worm and a fish have in common? A: they are both a worm, apart from the fish

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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