Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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Once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book ... it goes on forever. Epilogue: the man and son eventually died because a microphone swallowed a frog. THE END P.S.: I didn't close the quotations. P.S.#2: I don't know what ''P.S. stands for. P.S.#3: I didn't close the quotation again.

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Why is McDonalds bad for you? Because their is so much fat in all its products, and contains many calories.

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Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

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What do you call a black airline pilot? An airline pilot.

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"Have you seen the food African kids eat?" "No.." "NEITHER HAVE THEY!!"

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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How do you get Vladamir Putin to smile? You tickle him.

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Are you from Africa because YOU GOT AIDS

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Why was little Sammy crying? because she had a frog stapled to her forehead

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Why did Elliot Spitzer cross the road? To go have sex with a hooker.

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Why did the Asian man go into space? Because he was an astronaut.

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Why are gay guys so good at being gay? The black guys told them too.

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That awkward moment when you have to tell your child you wanted an abortion, and still wish you had.

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what is 1 plus 1 i don't know ask your teacher

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how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

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What's green and blue? yellow

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What is a slave fighting in a pit of Rome? Just a slave. Who cares?

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Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

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How do you kill a innocent young boy walking from school? I don't know but do you want to enjoy a refreshing beverage of creaming soda?

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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Sometimes an alligator will bring you apples. Sometimes it won't.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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