- Anti Joke

How did the Black man die at the KFC? Someone killed him.

...The new series of spinoff movies from the worlds most frightening franchise! Pretty Normal Activity: Doing the groceries -Did not scare me at all :D! Ballbusters movie rentals - The demon never showed up which made this the scariest movie ever! Could not sleep for months... Whatyumean there is nothing paranormal in this? Aww FUbeepCK!! Sumgay Inthestreet Journal *****-Pissed myself just from hearing the title got a stroke and almost died!, was it another Paranormal movie you said? Most overhyped comment we could find. Goddamn exaggerated movie reviews that fooled me into buying the original and expect something actually scary :(

A horse, a duck, a pig, and a mus lim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the mus lim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the mus lim that he's keeping company with a swine, and the mus lim feels offense for the poor horse.

There was a guy and a girl naked in bed, sleeping together. When they woke up they didn't remember the last 72 hours and wanted some questions answered, including Where am I? Who are you? What year is it? What's my name?

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

Why does Sally sell sea shells down by the sea shore? To support her growing crack addiction that is ruining Sally's and Sally's families lives

Listen, I cannot as much as I would like, to take the full responsibility for every decision my former followers might decide to make of their own, we are no religion nor do we follow any kind of doctrines, we encourage freedom but also respect for our fellow human beings, all of them regardless of race or affiliation. But you let me know whoever has as much as looked at you the wrong way, and I will make sure they no longer find themselves welcome within my order, nor anywhere else if their actions merit the firm hands of justice.

Why did the boy miss the toilet when he was peeing? Cause he was in the shower.

Q. What did the toothbrush say to the toothpaste A. Nothing you idiot there inanimate objects they can't talk

What do you get when you hit a deer? A dead deer, which you should probably take home to eat - wouldn't want it to go to waste.

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? None, you don't have to be jewish to change a light bulb

Whats the difference between a blonde and a sloth? Everything. The blonde is a human being and humans are way different than sloths.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A shocking example of the cruelty suffered by animals at hands of humanity.

What's black and white and red all over? A piece of discarded newspaper previously covering the half dismembered torso of a dead prostitute.

so i was Fin this guy the other day with my penis.....shit! i mean i was Fin this girl and i jizzed

feminine literature

Caca.

Rebecca Black walks into a bar she took the back seat

What did the homeless guy say to the not-homeless guy? I'm homeless.

One time at band camp.............tha'ts it........

Why did princess diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seatbelt

what is white on top and black on the bottom? society... ha ha

Why did they serve Swiss cheese at the church? It was lunchtime.

Why did little nancy call the police? Because her dad beats her toaster up.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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