Why did the man slowly cross the road? He had a prosthetic leg.

What's green and has wheels? A green car.

What is the difference between a person of Mexican heritage and a park bench? One is a bench, the other is a human being.

roses are red, violets are blue, im not going out with someone that belongs in a zoo.

What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

Did nims chinnie? Fins.

What do you call a man who can't sing. Untalented and he should probably find a new profession

Why did the man visit 4chan? He heard about it from a coworker and was curious about what it was.

Yo momma was so ugly that everybody died.

whats long, orange, and comes out of brown stuff? -a carrot.

guest what i love pancakes

THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

What is a slave fighting in a pit of Rome? Just a slave. Who cares?

Q - What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a trampoline? A - I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.

why did the black boy start crying when he was taking a dump? He thought he was melting

What's brown, smells like shit, and are annoying as hell? Taking shits

Why did the editor lose his job at a poetry magazine? Because he's worthless.

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what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? AIDs then he got mugged on the way home from the hospital

What do you call a quadriplegic person in the water? One should refer to them by their name, but seeing as a quadriplegic person would be incapable of swimming if you do see a quadriplegic person in a body of water you should seek help or call emergency services.

what is 1 plus 1 i don't know ask your teacher

What's worse than having your t.v. stolen by a Mexican? Getting raped with a chainsaw.

Why was Edgar sad at the swimming pool? Edgar had been taking swimming lessons for a few weeks, on a tuesday-thursday basis, and was not learning how to swim as well as he would have liked. His instructer, Ms. Herpina was also very rude and generally disrespectful to Edgar. As a result of him seeing the lack of progress, and his dislike of his teacher, one day he quit going to his lessons and went to the local Dairy Queen instead with his girlfriend, Susie. Little did he know, his mother had also gone out to buy him DairyQueen, as a celebration to him becoming better at swimming. When she saw him at Dairy Queen, she was very angry at her son, who had lied to her about going to that days' lesson, and had also lied to her about not having a girlfriend. After his mom told his girlfriend that they couldn't date, she took a distraught Edgar to their small apartment. Edgar had always hated this apartment, ever since the first day they moved in as a result from the lack of money to afford a nicer area. After his older brother David stole all that money from his mother to buy drugs a few years back, his life hasn't been the same. His mother was forced to move into an apartment with few luxories, and Edgar was constantly jealous of his friends at school, especially Jason, the dark haired boy who always bragged about how good he was at his PSP games. Edgar only wanted happiness for at least a little while, but was quickly forced back to the pool. He was embarassed at the fact that he couldn't swim, and all the popular girls at the pool were making fun of him. It had been a rough life for Edgar, and he was still only seven years of age. This, my child, is why Edgar was sad at the swimming pool.

Roses were red Violets were blue Until the Fire nation attacked Now it's all black

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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